Today

I've never been good with words. When I need them the most, they fail me. When I have no one to talk with I feel like the words just keep flowing. I am hoping that this blog will help channel how I feel.
I dont expect anyone to ever read this, I havent even decided if I will post this anywhere. I just need something to help with the long days. Being a stay at home mom is the best thing I could ever do with my life. I absolutely love it. I think the hardest thing about it, is not having the adult interaction. I really miss talking to someone on a daily basis. I've been struggling with a form of depression and I'm not sure where it stems from. Daniel doesnt think that depression is legit. So I dont feel like its something that I can talk to him about. I dont want to go to the doctor about it because I dont want to be put on some sort of drug that makes me feel like a zombie. I know I need to suck it up and do something, I am just nervous. Maybe even a little scared.
I have been struggling with my weight, maybe that is what has been my issue. I am so unhappy with the way I feel about myself. The way that I look, the way that I feel. I know that it is so superficial, but I am so tired of being the size and the weight that I am. It seems that no matter what I do, whether it be working out, or eating right, the amount of sleep I get or how many glasses of whater I drink, Nothing changes. I stay the same. The more I work out the hungrier I am, and the hungier I get the more I eat and the harder it is for me to get the motivation to actually work out. Its a never ending cycle.
I guess in a way I am hoping that this blog will help me stay accountable for what I do with my day. What I put in my mouth or how active I am.
Today is a venting day.Today is the day I get everything negative off my chest. Tomorrow I will start fresh. It will be a new Today. A chance to start off right, and get into a habit of getting healthy. So cheers, to Today